It’s really hard to be vulnerable but God has put this on my heart to share🤍
Today was a difficult day. I left an appointment, crying the whole way home. Tears flooded my eyes and covered my whole face. I was hurting deep inside, deep into who I am. I hung onto hope for so long and then lost it, replaced by a darkness of wanting to give up. I was terrified that no one would believe me. I met with this psychologist concerning a possible diagnosis. A diagnosis I really felt I had and still believe it’s true. But His opinion was the opposite. My heart sank, and my bones shattered. I tried to grasp for air in that office room. My lungs felt tight as I tried to hold in my watered filled eyes. Every word He said contradicted what I felt and who I was. The next few days I was still frustrated about the situation. My mom said we could get a second opinion. But I became controlling about needing to find someone else right away. Which is not what God wanted, He wanted me to be patient. He wanted me to trust in His control, and I learned that in the end. I need to let go of the power and let God be my All-Powerful God.
Omniscient is the word that means He is all-powerful. His strength is unlimited. He holds all power and it never ceases. His limitless power is always used for good and never used for evil. Nothing is too difficult for God, and nothing is out of God's control. There is nothing that we worry about that God could not fix or redeem.
In the midst of all this, God graciously gave me a sign and He said to me “this is the last one”. Imagine God telling you “Daughter, this is the last one. This is the last time you’re fighting alone. This is the last time you have to feel unseen. This is the last burden that you have to carry.” God is forever lasting. I can’t promise you that this is the last pain you’ll ever feel. But I can promise you that on this earth you will find the last pain you’ll ever face. On the other side, heaven provides a place where there will be no pain or suffering. And on this journey God promises to never leave our side. Our Heavenly Father walks with us always. He is almighty and and powerful.
My actions and worries reveal that I need to give more trust in the fact that the control is His. My worries make me want to use my power over a situation, but I need to give that back to God. I need to trust God’s timing, instead of rushing it.
God's omnipotence brings me comfort because I can trust knowing He holds all the power and the world doesn't. It reminds me that I can do anything through the Lord and that He is in complete control, no matter what face.
Prayer:
Lord, I‘ve at times took the power and control from you. I thought doing it my way would make me feel better. But it didn’t last. You Lord are the only one who can satisfy me fully. Please forgive me of this sin and help me to let go of control. I give the power back to you. Teach me God.
In Jesus’ Name, Amen
Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. - 1 Peter 5:7
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