A poem…
My mind was a place, a space of destruction
It was my normal even if I couldn’t function
It put a spotlight on everything and everyone around me that I needed to please
When I truly needed to take care of myself
But that never left me at ease
I hear God saying we are designed to put others first, and so I pushed and I pushed for that even when so often I felt I was going to burst
I held on so tightly to the lies saying it wasn’t okay to have my own needs
So I poured all the love out onto others
Until it left me empty, craving for something that I never had any left for
Love, a word that was foreign to me
A word so hard to feel or believe
For years and years, I looked with these lenses
A distorted image that felt quite endless
Feeling unworthy and never enough
I couldn’t help but feel alone, as I’m trapped deep below, how could someone like me ever be loved
But God, sometimes that’s all I can say
Because no matter how big the pain
He is never driven away
He turned to me and heard my cry
And lifted me out of that deep dark hole
He began to replace the lies and open my eyes
And gave me a firm foundation to stand upon
I was fighting for love in every other place
When I needed to let go and have love fight for me
To allow every step I take to be held by grace
And led to a place that is free
You do not need to prove yourself in order to be loved, for in every moment He is there
With open arms always ready to care
He loves unconditionally in a place where simply abiding in His presence is all it takes
No approval, no striving, no hiding
Just deep breaths and our opened hearts to God
Sometimes love means letting go
of all the things you’ve held on to for so long,
that have only left you feeling more heavy
But they are not yours to carry
Let love hold them for you, let Him lift the things that break you and allow Him to make you whole
And though you may still feel the ache
You’ve made progress with every breath you take
You are worthy of the time to surrender and heal
You are worthy of the same love you give
Letting light and love shine within
Knowing that there is so much more ahead of you
The journey may feel long but you’re guided from a place where you truly belong, in the arms of love
(5th stanza reminds me of Psalm 40:1-2)
I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.
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