I used to be a runner. I just want to run again.
When I was younger, I played soccer and basketball for many years. I was able to be active and enjoyed doing so. Around age 11, my dad got me interested in doing running as a hobby. He is a very dedicated runner and has a goal of running a marathon in every state. So far, he’s half way there and I’m proud of him.
I started out doing “Couch to 5k” with my family and completed that. I ran my first 5k when I was 12, joined my churches running life group, went to many different parks, did it with my cousin Jenna. I continued to run many more races and really loved it. It was difficult at times and I pushed myself but I felt so accomplished. Running made me feel free and alive. Feeling the breeze against my skin, earbuds in listening to music, the fresh air, the sound of nature, the peace around me, the excitement of distance. It created a discipline in me and made me grow in my relationship with God. To be able to see my body work was amazing to me.
But that body of mine stopped working. I ran for 4 years straight and it was such a good experience. But I found my body getting weaker and weaker and started dealing with a lot of symptoms. Age 15 was the first year I was no longer running. As time went on and I continued to see my dad and brother run without me, I realized how upsetting it was and grieved what I once had.
When I was 16, I was given some answers to why I was struggling. I was diagnosed with a condition called Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS). POTS is a form of dysautonomia, which is a disorder of the autonomic (involuntary) nervous system. With POTS, your heart rate increases very quickly after getting up from sitting or lying down due to blood not returning up to the heart and brain. This causes dizziness, fatigue, shortness of breath, sweating, exercise intolerance, and more. Feeling like I’m about to pass out when I stand isn’t fun. I can no longer run, can’t do a workout, or enjoy walking my dogs.
Someday I dream of running again. One day that will come. But until that day, I am reminded to run to the Lord. Jesus, my Savior, has carried me this far, and I know He’ll carry me to the finish line, too. I’m looking forward to the day when the race of this life is over, and I can finally run into His arms.
Maybe I'm no longer a runner, but I'm a fighter. And I will continue to run the race God set out for my life. I'm grateful for this journey.
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.
- Hebrews 12:1
Comments