Finding God in the Exhaustion

When you get all ready to go somewhere, only to end up too exhausted from just that. I wanted to go out to eat with my parents, and I did end up going. But other times, I can’t—I have to cancel plans or sit things out. That’s the reality of chronic illness.

I went from excited to exhausted so quickly. I got dressed up in a cute dress, did my hair (washed, dried, and straightened), shaved, and put on makeup. With my mom’s help though haha. But with each step I felt myself getting more drained. My pain increased, my energy slipped away, and I grew overstimulated and overwhelmed. In the end, I curled up in bed, trying my best to cope and breathe. I felt like I couldn’t go anymore, and it was so discouraging after putting in all that effort. I didn’t want it to be for nothing.

When laying down, I turned on some chill worship music. I felt Jesus’ comfort. My body was in so much discomfort, but the words of those songs soothed me. I leaned into God’s love as best I could, praising Him even in my distress. It became a sweet, unexpected moment before we had to leave. I hate being in times of struggle, but something sparks in me when I turn to Him in the middle of it. Even when He doesn’t take the pain away, He gives me something far better—a deep love that warms my heart.

So thank you, Lord, for moments of closeness with You. Thank You for Your unexpected peace and Your presence that fills me in ways nothing else can. It truly is the best feeling. I pray that those of us dealing with mental or chronic illness, take breaks and rest when we need to. Help us to care for ourselves, and not overdo things that would lead to burnout. And if it does happen, give us the strength to hold onto you through it. Amen 🤍