On Thursday, I got to go to my cousin’s wedding. The ceremony was so beautiful and sweet. I’m so happy when I see how God brings two people together for the purpose of love and Him being glorified. Marriage is such a beautiful thing and brings a couple unity in being one in Christ.
After, at the reception, I struggled though. Sensory overload. Worsened pain/symptoms. Using mobility aids. Body image. Exhaustion. Masking. Overwhelm. As someone with Autism and chronic illnesses, it just effected me more. Often it’s like that with events. But one thing that really bothered me was my inability to say no. When asked to be in a picture, I forced a yes but put my health at risk--walking too much to almost passing out.
Saying no has always made me feel guilty and anxious. I’m afraid that it’ll be unkind or unloving to say no and that it could be a sin. But it really truly is not a sin and God doesn’t look down on you for choosing no. It is not a bad word, and it can have good intentions. It can provide rest. He never leads us to burnout or asks to push ourselves past our limitations. He doesn’t want us to force a yes just so we can please others. He wants our hearts to be directed toward pleasing Himself, instead of people (Galatians 1:10).
We can’t neglect our needs for the sake of others. Our mental health is important. God wants us to take care of ourselves: emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually. And that means letting go of some of your yeses. It means turning to God first to see what He says. It means setting boundaries for yourself. It means making intentional time to rest and reflect with God. It means saving time for your important priorities like rest, family, and hobbies.
Don’t be so lost in what you need to do that you miss God’s yes for you. We don’t wanna miss out on God’s yes by being so occupied by all our yeses to others. Sometimes saying “no” to people is saying “yes” to God. Just like how God sometimes answers our prayer with a no, it still is a good answer and apart of His glorious purpose and plan for our lives. God has such good plans for us with a bright and hopeful future (Jeremiah 29:11).
Living out that life for God and loving others doesn’t mean you should overexert yourself. You are not called to do everything for everyone. You are called to live out the the unique purpose that God has for you. We all have a gift, a part in God’s plan. Which means we should commit our time, energy, and passion on the assignments that really are ours, given from God. Wherever you are in life, you deserve the time to make choices that bring out the best version of you.
And rest is one of them. Rest isn’t prideful, it is a humble submission to God's plan for us. Creating room for rest, actually glorifies Him. Relying on Him as the only self-sufficient, all-powerful, never-resting God, brings Him glory.
So lastly: How do we figure out whether to say yes or no? Simply put: Ask for God’s wisdom. There is direction and peace found in His Word. There is guidance found when reaching out to pray with God. He will help you make the right decision. We just need to seek after Him and His kingdom (Matthew 6:33). By spending time in His Word, we can say yes to God’s calling and no to what isn’t.
“Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
- Galatians 1:10
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