Today is my birthday. Onto another year, now turning 20, I look back and see God’s faithfulness. I also see pain and struggle. I have several chronic illnesses that cause disabling, painful, and scary symptoms every day.
It’s hard to live in a world where there is so much stigma so I want to advocate and bring awareness. I have been battling illnesses since I was 9 years old, but things got progressively worse in my teens. My conditions are POTS, CMT, GP, hEDS, chronic migraine, fibromyalgia, IBS, GERD, OCD, anxiety disorders and major depression. My whole body is effected, from: neurological, autonomic dysfunction, gastrointestinal, musculoskeletal, sleep, mental health, and more. I also was recently diagnosed with autism which has been a big eye-opening experience and so healing.
On this journey of mine it’s been going through tests and procedures, searching for answers that took years, and finding treatments that work yet knowing there aren’t any cures. It’s been full of doctors, flare-ups, limited energy, trauma, and scary unknowns. It’s been having to use mobility aids like a wheelchair and cane. From exhausting appointments, to debilitating pain and fatigue, to self harm, suicidal thoughts, and panic attacks I didn’t think I’d survive.
But God gave me strength to get through. My faith is so important to me and His help is what I rely on to get through each day.
Living with chronic illness has stopped me from seeing people, doing things I enjoy, and even simple tasks. I’ve lost a lot. But I’ve gained so much too. I’ve learned so many things on this journey and that has shaped me into who I am today.
Through my ups and downs of my health, I’ve had to hold onto God. Because though things in my life change, God doesn’t and He is my rock, my firm foundation. Having Christ, someone who understands even the deepest pain in my heart, is such a beautiful thing. My illnesses can be a big part of my life, but I’m grateful that my identity is found in Christ alone. And though I still struggle on a daily basis, Jesus is with me. I know that He will continue to guide me on this crazy journey—now into my twenties. I know I am not alone. I hope you know that too. 💗
Comments